Versatile Blogger Award

I'm not a big blogger, I'm really not. I keep jumping on the train, taking pit stops, missing the train and sometimes managing to jump back on (lol). It's been a while since I've been here. A lot has happened. I'll get to that in another post though.

So, I logged on to a new comment waiting to be added. I check it, and apparently someone had gave me an "award". I'm not entirely sure what awards are on blogs (again, not a big blog person) but I appreciate her kind thoughts. So I'll be adding it to my page.



Accepting this "award" I am to write 7 things about myself. Here goes.

1. I am not your average Jane. I LOVE messing with my hair with funky colors and styles. I've had my hair just about every color under the sun, both by accident and intentional (haha). Currently it's a blue black, but on October 2nd it'll be shaved. I'm doing charity work for St. Baldrick's (a charity for children with cancer) and part of the event is getting your head shaved. I'm excited and scared.

2. I LOVE piercings and tattoos and just about any body mod. I haven't much yet but I'm planning on a few. I do have my ear lobes pierced and am currently stretching them. I'm up to a 6guage and love it. I do think my goal will either be a 0 or 00 though. But we'll see.

3. I have pale skin and freckles... I've long ago learned to love them. People may pay for a tan, but they can never have what I have. :)

4. I LOVE crafting. I do oodles of different ones (none very well but that's life). I sew, make soap and other bath things, needle felt, paint, draw, started to learn to knit, etcetc. I have way too much craft stuff. haha

5. I adore children and have one of my own. She's my life.

6. I also love animals. I want to volunteer at the local animal shelter and possibly become an animal cruelty investigator. I got my cat from the shelter and she's a http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifjoy (most of the time).

7. I'm an activist of a few things. I fight for children's right to remain whole and not be circumcised at birth. I fight for proper information and support for those who want to breast feed. I advocate for natural birth but mainly for birth CHOICE. I think it should be illegal to intervene with labor/birth if it's not necessary. I also believe highly in the parent's right to choose to vaccinate or not as well as education choices. And finally, I strongly wish for equality for the "other" love and sexes besides heterosexuality and man/woman genders.

I hope this teaches you a bit more about myself. I'm supposed to pass this award on now, so I shall send it to the only other blogger I know personally, haha Thus, I award "Make Do Play" with this award. :)

Updates

I haven't been around much recently it seems. Time has gotten away from me. A lot has been going on in my life. My husband graduated tech school and has been stationed in North Carolina. I was staying with my Dad, then went to visit a friend for a few days... and since she was only three hours away from my husband, I decided to just jump down there with him. So now we're staying in a hotel room until we can find a place. Meanwhile Brandon has been craving a bunch of fast food and how can I turn it down?! T_T

There is a gym on base but I didn't bring any gym appropriate clothes. He gets paid the first so I can buy some then... if I feel better. Seems we caught the flu some where. Brandon's really sick and I'm not feeling hot either.

I don't have a scale down here so I haven't had any recent weight checks, but here's a picture:



Wish me luck, times are trying and I need will power!

Stress Isn't Easy On A Diet

Details a side... RAGHHHHHHHHHHH I'm about to rip my hair out with stress. Support, support, I need support. There is ice cream in the freezer calling my name!!! T_T

RAGE

I'm getting so insanely frustrated! Rage rage rage!

I hate food and I hate my body and rawr.

Yeah, that's all.

Stalling.... and Frustrations....

I have been depressed... horribly so. At the moment I'm in a long distance relationship with my husband and it's been hard on me. Of course that's hard on my diet. Thankfully the one day I let myself go a bit (Superbowl sunday! My team was there baby) I only gained back .4 pounds.

I'm getting frustrated with this whole diet thing. I mean, I of course knew it wouldn't be easy. Diets aren't. This isn't just a diet, it's a life style change. I'm ready for that though. I'm strong. I've been cutting calories without much issue (let's face it, it's early and it will get easier as I go). I've been able to say no to SO MUCH temptation without too much "pain". I've gotten to the point where junk food ISN'T appealing... Where sugary things don't tempt me...

So why aren't I seeing results! Yes... .5 here and there... but I want more! I want it faster! I know exercise would help but it's just not an option at the moment. It's winter, I have no baby sitter, no close gym, no room in the house. As soon as I get out of here I'm going to hit it like there's no tomorrow. If I get no results that way I may just die.

Recently I've been watching shows like Heavy and I Used To Be Fat (I refuse to watch Biggest Loser). I watch them in the hopes of seeing some small tips to help me. I watch them to get some motivation. But they piss me off. How big do I have to be to get help like that? What I would do for a personal trainer and nutritionist. Normal people are just not equipped for major life style changes that are needed to lose 100+ pounds. We didn't grow up eating right, we didn't grow up exercising... and it's hard to change that. It's even more difficult to change it when you don't know what to change it to.

Lord I don't want to be fat forever...

Goals Reached, Goals Lost, and Anger...

So... I worked, I slaved, I did it... I got under 260lbs! I was pretty darn excited. I haven't been under 260 in a LOOOONNNNNGGGGGG time.

But then I decided to conduct a little experiment... I stopped at McDonald's for a friend and ended up eating way more than I should have by saying it was an experiment. Yeah... Ok... stupid me. My little experiment caused me to gain BACK two pounds. I'm still working to lose it again. Now I know I can't eat junk and get away with it, even just once in a while. I knew that though... I was just hoping I was wrong. Oh well.

So... apparently the hCG I've spend almost $120 on isn't real and you can only get real hCG with an Rx... mother fuckers... I feel so stupid.
http://www.weightlosswand.com/reviews/nigen-biotech-the-hcg-solution-reviews/
I'm really rather pissed that I was lied to. How can they have the word hCG on the bottle if there is none in there!!! It's not right. T_T

Time for a regular diet I guess. *sigh* So today I started using a calorie tracker on my phone called MyFitnessPal. Set it to 750cals. Stuck to it today. So we'll see if I still lose weight or if I have to adjust it... See ya tomorrow for the results.

Take That Temptation!!!

I had an... interesting day. I forgot my meds and was off the charts pissy today. I could hardly handle my daughter much less my Mother. If that didn't make things bad...

So my Mom PROMISED that she'd quit smoking while we lived here. Didn't happen. She then promised after a while she would. She didn't. She promised after her pack was gone she'd stop. Then she went to the hospital on an unrelated thing. Well, being in the hospital for almost a week I'd have hoped she had a good start. Well OF COURSE NOT... but what makes it worse is she acts so sneaky and like I'm an idiot! The same things she'd already freak out on us while we were younger. I am beyond angry, like... if it weren't for my daughter I'd have left on the spot.

Thus I gathered our stuff and went upstairs. A few hours later I'm hungry... but I REFUSE to go down stairs and be around her so I ignore it. A few hours later I'm excessively hungry... like woozy hungry. About to faint hungry (I have hypoglycemia issues). In a state like this I'd grab something quick and those corn dogs were CALLING me. Oh lord did I want one... But some how I had the will power to instead grab the 4oz lean steak from the frig that I had left out and an orange. I'm feeling loads better and better with my choice.

With this will power I see this diet working out for me and it'll just take time. Exciting!

I still want that corn dog though... haha