Versatile Blogger Award

I'm not a big blogger, I'm really not. I keep jumping on the train, taking pit stops, missing the train and sometimes managing to jump back on (lol). It's been a while since I've been here. A lot has happened. I'll get to that in another post though.

So, I logged on to a new comment waiting to be added. I check it, and apparently someone had gave me an "award". I'm not entirely sure what awards are on blogs (again, not a big blog person) but I appreciate her kind thoughts. So I'll be adding it to my page.



Accepting this "award" I am to write 7 things about myself. Here goes.

1. I am not your average Jane. I LOVE messing with my hair with funky colors and styles. I've had my hair just about every color under the sun, both by accident and intentional (haha). Currently it's a blue black, but on October 2nd it'll be shaved. I'm doing charity work for St. Baldrick's (a charity for children with cancer) and part of the event is getting your head shaved. I'm excited and scared.

2. I LOVE piercings and tattoos and just about any body mod. I haven't much yet but I'm planning on a few. I do have my ear lobes pierced and am currently stretching them. I'm up to a 6guage and love it. I do think my goal will either be a 0 or 00 though. But we'll see.

3. I have pale skin and freckles... I've long ago learned to love them. People may pay for a tan, but they can never have what I have. :)

4. I LOVE crafting. I do oodles of different ones (none very well but that's life). I sew, make soap and other bath things, needle felt, paint, draw, started to learn to knit, etcetc. I have way too much craft stuff. haha

5. I adore children and have one of my own. She's my life.

6. I also love animals. I want to volunteer at the local animal shelter and possibly become an animal cruelty investigator. I got my cat from the shelter and she's a http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifjoy (most of the time).

7. I'm an activist of a few things. I fight for children's right to remain whole and not be circumcised at birth. I fight for proper information and support for those who want to breast feed. I advocate for natural birth but mainly for birth CHOICE. I think it should be illegal to intervene with labor/birth if it's not necessary. I also believe highly in the parent's right to choose to vaccinate or not as well as education choices. And finally, I strongly wish for equality for the "other" love and sexes besides heterosexuality and man/woman genders.

I hope this teaches you a bit more about myself. I'm supposed to pass this award on now, so I shall send it to the only other blogger I know personally, haha Thus, I award "Make Do Play" with this award. :)

Updates

I haven't been around much recently it seems. Time has gotten away from me. A lot has been going on in my life. My husband graduated tech school and has been stationed in North Carolina. I was staying with my Dad, then went to visit a friend for a few days... and since she was only three hours away from my husband, I decided to just jump down there with him. So now we're staying in a hotel room until we can find a place. Meanwhile Brandon has been craving a bunch of fast food and how can I turn it down?! T_T

There is a gym on base but I didn't bring any gym appropriate clothes. He gets paid the first so I can buy some then... if I feel better. Seems we caught the flu some where. Brandon's really sick and I'm not feeling hot either.

I don't have a scale down here so I haven't had any recent weight checks, but here's a picture:



Wish me luck, times are trying and I need will power!

Stress Isn't Easy On A Diet

Details a side... RAGHHHHHHHHHHH I'm about to rip my hair out with stress. Support, support, I need support. There is ice cream in the freezer calling my name!!! T_T

RAGE

I'm getting so insanely frustrated! Rage rage rage!

I hate food and I hate my body and rawr.

Yeah, that's all.

Stalling.... and Frustrations....

I have been depressed... horribly so. At the moment I'm in a long distance relationship with my husband and it's been hard on me. Of course that's hard on my diet. Thankfully the one day I let myself go a bit (Superbowl sunday! My team was there baby) I only gained back .4 pounds.

I'm getting frustrated with this whole diet thing. I mean, I of course knew it wouldn't be easy. Diets aren't. This isn't just a diet, it's a life style change. I'm ready for that though. I'm strong. I've been cutting calories without much issue (let's face it, it's early and it will get easier as I go). I've been able to say no to SO MUCH temptation without too much "pain". I've gotten to the point where junk food ISN'T appealing... Where sugary things don't tempt me...

So why aren't I seeing results! Yes... .5 here and there... but I want more! I want it faster! I know exercise would help but it's just not an option at the moment. It's winter, I have no baby sitter, no close gym, no room in the house. As soon as I get out of here I'm going to hit it like there's no tomorrow. If I get no results that way I may just die.

Recently I've been watching shows like Heavy and I Used To Be Fat (I refuse to watch Biggest Loser). I watch them in the hopes of seeing some small tips to help me. I watch them to get some motivation. But they piss me off. How big do I have to be to get help like that? What I would do for a personal trainer and nutritionist. Normal people are just not equipped for major life style changes that are needed to lose 100+ pounds. We didn't grow up eating right, we didn't grow up exercising... and it's hard to change that. It's even more difficult to change it when you don't know what to change it to.

Lord I don't want to be fat forever...

Goals Reached, Goals Lost, and Anger...

So... I worked, I slaved, I did it... I got under 260lbs! I was pretty darn excited. I haven't been under 260 in a LOOOONNNNNGGGGGG time.

But then I decided to conduct a little experiment... I stopped at McDonald's for a friend and ended up eating way more than I should have by saying it was an experiment. Yeah... Ok... stupid me. My little experiment caused me to gain BACK two pounds. I'm still working to lose it again. Now I know I can't eat junk and get away with it, even just once in a while. I knew that though... I was just hoping I was wrong. Oh well.

So... apparently the hCG I've spend almost $120 on isn't real and you can only get real hCG with an Rx... mother fuckers... I feel so stupid.
http://www.weightlosswand.com/reviews/nigen-biotech-the-hcg-solution-reviews/
I'm really rather pissed that I was lied to. How can they have the word hCG on the bottle if there is none in there!!! It's not right. T_T

Time for a regular diet I guess. *sigh* So today I started using a calorie tracker on my phone called MyFitnessPal. Set it to 750cals. Stuck to it today. So we'll see if I still lose weight or if I have to adjust it... See ya tomorrow for the results.

Take That Temptation!!!

I had an... interesting day. I forgot my meds and was off the charts pissy today. I could hardly handle my daughter much less my Mother. If that didn't make things bad...

So my Mom PROMISED that she'd quit smoking while we lived here. Didn't happen. She then promised after a while she would. She didn't. She promised after her pack was gone she'd stop. Then she went to the hospital on an unrelated thing. Well, being in the hospital for almost a week I'd have hoped she had a good start. Well OF COURSE NOT... but what makes it worse is she acts so sneaky and like I'm an idiot! The same things she'd already freak out on us while we were younger. I am beyond angry, like... if it weren't for my daughter I'd have left on the spot.

Thus I gathered our stuff and went upstairs. A few hours later I'm hungry... but I REFUSE to go down stairs and be around her so I ignore it. A few hours later I'm excessively hungry... like woozy hungry. About to faint hungry (I have hypoglycemia issues). In a state like this I'd grab something quick and those corn dogs were CALLING me. Oh lord did I want one... But some how I had the will power to instead grab the 4oz lean steak from the frig that I had left out and an orange. I'm feeling loads better and better with my choice.

With this will power I see this diet working out for me and it'll just take time. Exciting!

I still want that corn dog though... haha

More Will Power Than I Thought I Had

So, I had an appointment to pick up WIC checks for my daughter at 3:30. Of course I waited to get up until like 2:30... haha Then I took a while getting ready. All in all, I didn't get a chance to eat before going.

So by the time I did that, went to the post office to ship my husband's birthday present, it was getting rather late when we got to Walmart. Some how I went through that store slowly lolli-gagging... and avoiding temptation at every turn! I got the things on Maddy's checks (which for the most part are healthy) but the only other things I bought was no sugar added apple sauce, whole grain cheerios, and seasoning to make some beef cube and chicken. We got blueberries, bananas, apples, and an orange. We also got some whole wheat bread. We skipped the cookies, cakes, frozen foods, donuts, deli ready foods....

By this time I was preeeeeeetttttyyyyy darn hungry. But I got through the line, avoiding all the impulse items some how... Oh but then I walk out side and get hit with the smell of BK! It was torture. Maddy was crying and I thought she was hungry. Which tempted me so badly to just get us some BK. But instead I got an apple out of a bag for her. (Turns out she was tired anyway and fell asleep in the car seat). Instead of breaking and getting fast food, I ate that apple myself. ^_^

As great as all that impulse control felt... I've been feeling a bit too woozy with only 500cals a day. It probably doesn't help that I've had tons of hypoglycemic issues in the past. So I ate a bit more tonight. I REALLY hope it doesn't stop my recent semi consistent droppage...

I know I shouldn't get discouraged though, this journey has just started and I really do need to find the right path for me. Wish me luck! :D

Being Stagnant...

Yeah... not weight loss change today. But that'll happen sometimes, I have to accept that. I really need to get working out... no more excuses! Yes, I want that Kinect to do fun work outs like I did on the Wii... but there is no reason I can't do some simple exercises without it in the mean time.

Tomorrow I shall do some sit ups, some yoga... some anything! I know for sure I'm going to Walmart so I'll take my time walking around the whole store. It's cold outside but not inside baby!

Wish me luck ^_^

Holding My Breath and Taking the First Step...

Onto the scale! I was so worried it'd tell me bad news... especially with the 3 "fat days" I had before starting my diet. But thank god, I had decent news. I haven't been able to keep up with my weight every day like I used to (I packed my scale into storage) but I did weight myself at a friend's house about a week ago. Then I was 270. Today I am 268! Not a bit drop but a drop none the less... and on my period no less! I'm rather excited.

Today was pretty decent. I didn't stick to the hCG diet protocal but pretty much have decided as long as what I eat off the protocal is healthy then it's ok. There is not much on the protocal to begin with, and most of them I don't like... so it's much too hard to stick to so little choices.

All in all, I think I'm having a good go so far. Counting down the days until Brandon gets paid and I can get a Kinect though.

The First Day... and April 15th Challenge

The first day... oh and if it's not just my luck. Last night I stepped on a piece of glass. I got it out but now my foot really hurts. I also feel like poo 'cause I've been visited by Aunt Flo. I don't have much means to exercise right now anyway... I want to get a Kinect but that'll have to wait until the 1st. Until then, I think I'll look on youtube or netflix for a yoga video.

I did PRETTY well on my diet. Drank water all day. Had a 4oz piece of steak for lunch and a tomatoe. For dinner another piece of steak and lettuce for a salad. I had some apple sauce for a snack. My will was weak and I did eat a small bowl of cereal... tomorrow I will do better. I always did give myself some lea-way during that time of month. Not fair to expect a woman to diet when she feels like this! haha

Anyway... I found another challenge and joined up. I think 40lbs before April 15th is a good goal. Numbers are on the side... wish me luck!!! ^_^

10lb Valentine's Day Challenge

So! My first challenger appears! I've joined a site called 4fatchicks and someone posted a challenge: http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/didibuttonsley/2011/01/15/valentines-day-challenge/

Well, I've decided to join it. I always felt like if I but had a challenge or partnership or... something... it'd do me good. I always lamented missing "Biggest loser" challenges. Here's my chance and I'm taking it!

I'm starting a bit late but I hope I can do it anyway... So, by Feb 14th I need to weigh in at 260lbs. Cheer me on!!!

NOT A New Years Resolution...

Yeah... I've been working on this since about October but I was trying to do it on my own. It didn't work out very well... So I'm trying something new. I'm hoping some support (if only online support) will help me out more.

So hi! I'm a 23 year old wife and mother. I'm married to an amazing airman and take care of our incrediable daughter. He's at tech school right now so I missing his support. Plus I would like to lose some weight to be nice and sexy for him ^_^.

Last year I altered out diet to more healthy things (wheat over white bread, whole grain over white, baking instead of frying, etc). It's helped me feel a bit better but I didn't lose any weight. I got a Wii fit and added two hours of exercise every night to it. I lost very little weight. I so then started following the weight watchers guide lines as well as exercising... still hardly anything. After all this hard work I was VERY disillusioned as my husband did the opposite of me and lost 5lbs to my 1lb!

A few months later I began the HCG diet after an Aunt of mine had great success with it. I started off great! The Christmas holiday killed it though... I gave into too much temptation with my husband (who just graduated basic so he craved just about every horrible thing for you...). Well I didn't have much other option for dinner because of lack of money so... I gained back half of what I lost.

So... a new year and a new determination. I just finished a 3 day diet cleanse. Tomorrow I will begin the two day "fat" days... then a low calorie diet. I intend to buy a Kinect for our xbox to do some exersices.

Well... Wish me luck!!!