Updates

I haven't been around much recently it seems. Time has gotten away from me. A lot has been going on in my life. My husband graduated tech school and has been stationed in North Carolina. I was staying with my Dad, then went to visit a friend for a few days... and since she was only three hours away from my husband, I decided to just jump down there with him. So now we're staying in a hotel room until we can find a place. Meanwhile Brandon has been craving a bunch of fast food and how can I turn it down?! T_T

There is a gym on base but I didn't bring any gym appropriate clothes. He gets paid the first so I can buy some then... if I feel better. Seems we caught the flu some where. Brandon's really sick and I'm not feeling hot either.

I don't have a scale down here so I haven't had any recent weight checks, but here's a picture:



Wish me luck, times are trying and I need will power!

Stress Isn't Easy On A Diet

Details a side... RAGHHHHHHHHHHH I'm about to rip my hair out with stress. Support, support, I need support. There is ice cream in the freezer calling my name!!! T_T

RAGE

I'm getting so insanely frustrated! Rage rage rage!

I hate food and I hate my body and rawr.

Yeah, that's all.

Stalling.... and Frustrations....

I have been depressed... horribly so. At the moment I'm in a long distance relationship with my husband and it's been hard on me. Of course that's hard on my diet. Thankfully the one day I let myself go a bit (Superbowl sunday! My team was there baby) I only gained back .4 pounds.

I'm getting frustrated with this whole diet thing. I mean, I of course knew it wouldn't be easy. Diets aren't. This isn't just a diet, it's a life style change. I'm ready for that though. I'm strong. I've been cutting calories without much issue (let's face it, it's early and it will get easier as I go). I've been able to say no to SO MUCH temptation without too much "pain". I've gotten to the point where junk food ISN'T appealing... Where sugary things don't tempt me...

So why aren't I seeing results! Yes... .5 here and there... but I want more! I want it faster! I know exercise would help but it's just not an option at the moment. It's winter, I have no baby sitter, no close gym, no room in the house. As soon as I get out of here I'm going to hit it like there's no tomorrow. If I get no results that way I may just die.

Recently I've been watching shows like Heavy and I Used To Be Fat (I refuse to watch Biggest Loser). I watch them in the hopes of seeing some small tips to help me. I watch them to get some motivation. But they piss me off. How big do I have to be to get help like that? What I would do for a personal trainer and nutritionist. Normal people are just not equipped for major life style changes that are needed to lose 100+ pounds. We didn't grow up eating right, we didn't grow up exercising... and it's hard to change that. It's even more difficult to change it when you don't know what to change it to.

Lord I don't want to be fat forever...

Goals Reached, Goals Lost, and Anger...

So... I worked, I slaved, I did it... I got under 260lbs! I was pretty darn excited. I haven't been under 260 in a LOOOONNNNNGGGGGG time.

But then I decided to conduct a little experiment... I stopped at McDonald's for a friend and ended up eating way more than I should have by saying it was an experiment. Yeah... Ok... stupid me. My little experiment caused me to gain BACK two pounds. I'm still working to lose it again. Now I know I can't eat junk and get away with it, even just once in a while. I knew that though... I was just hoping I was wrong. Oh well.

So... apparently the hCG I've spend almost $120 on isn't real and you can only get real hCG with an Rx... mother fuckers... I feel so stupid.
http://www.weightlosswand.com/reviews/nigen-biotech-the-hcg-solution-reviews/
I'm really rather pissed that I was lied to. How can they have the word hCG on the bottle if there is none in there!!! It's not right. T_T

Time for a regular diet I guess. *sigh* So today I started using a calorie tracker on my phone called MyFitnessPal. Set it to 750cals. Stuck to it today. So we'll see if I still lose weight or if I have to adjust it... See ya tomorrow for the results.